nigeria

Stay with me

by ayobami adebayo (NARRATED ON AUDIBLE BY Adjoa Andoh)

I listened to the Audible version of STAY WITH ME by Nigerian write Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀, which is beautifully narrated by Adjoa Andoh. A contemporary tale of a young marriage between two people who sincerely love and care for one another, and the destructive and tragic choices they make when they remain childless and polygamy is forced on them by family members impatient for grandchildren.

When an Audible book is well performed it can bring the story to life, and Adjoa Andoh does a wonderful job narrating STAY WITH ME. Andoh, is the awarded British actress who, among multiple other credits, most recently played Lady Danbury in Bridgerton and Nenneke in the second season of The Witcher. She was also a contributing writer on the movie What My Mother Told Me, directed by Frances-Anne Solomon. Anyway, this is all celebrate the accomplished women who are involved in bringing art to us all, and because Andoh is pretty cool!

I enjoyed this book so much, partly because it was read to me in delicious Nigerian accents, but also because the characters were so sympathetic and although their choices were not always the best, I couldn’t help rooting for their success and hoping for a happy ending. I mention in my blog about Angéle Rawiri’s THE FURY AND CRIES OF WOMEN about the destructive affect polygamy has on the woman in a marriage and, in the case of this story, on the marriage itself. Yejide and Akin are happily married and sincerely in love apart from the difficulty they have in getting pregnant. Within their relationship, this is not perceived as Yejide’s failing, but rather as a shared challenge with the reassurance that for both Yejide and Akin, their relationship is their priority. A child will enhance their lives, but their happiness is not dependent on having one. However, not everyone agrees (enter the evil mother-in-law,) and great efforts are made to encourage (bully) Yejide to prioritize her fertility, her pregnancy, and to pursue motherhood, through modern medicine and traditional practices. This slowly erodes Yejide’s self confidence and sense of self-worth and, of course, their marriage which soon must expand to include Fumni, the second wife Akin’s mother finds for him and Dotun, Akin's brother.

The choices they all make in the pursuit of fulfilling this singular goal of parenthood and the responsibility heaped on Yejide when they fail to achieve this goal, leads to the inevitable destruction of the relationships between all the people involved. Well worth the read/listen, and hold out hope for the happy ending.

Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ was born in Lagos, Nigeria and has multiple publishing credits and awards to her name. She holds BA and MA degrees in Literature in English from Obafemi Awolowo University, in Ife and an MA in Creative Writing from the University of East Anglia where she was awarded an international bursary for creative writing. In 2017, she won The Future Awards Africa Prize for Arts and Culture. She has worked as an editor for Saraba magazine since 2009. STAY WITH ME was named a Notable Book of the Year by The New York Times and a Best Book of the Year by The Guardian, The Economist, The Wall Street Journal and many other publications. Ayọ̀bámi was born in Lagos, Nigeria.